- Thousands of Afghan refugees are still in temporary hotel accomodation months after arriving in the UK.
- One gay Afghan refugee told Insider his dreams of living an out-and-proud life have been put on hold.
- He expressed his frustration with the slow system that is yet to find him a home or bring his family to the UK.
Standing in Queer Britain, the UK's first national LGBTQ museum, 22-year-old Ghulam* looked pensive as he observed the "Chosen Family" exhibition.
The selection of vibrant photographs showing queer friends posing together in south Asian clothing for family portraits had struck a chord with the gay refugee.
Like those in the photographs, he has also had to create a chosen family while hoping for his blood relatives to join him in England someday.
Those with who he stayed at a Pakistani safe house as he awaited a visa to a Western nation have become akin to family to him. "We went through so much together," he told Insider.
And he's developed a sibling-like bond with Maryam*, a 25-year-old lesbian Afghan woman who traveled with him on the Stonewall evacuation flight to the UK in October.
Maryam has been with Ghulam every step since he left Taliban-run Afghanistan, where they both escaped in fear of being killed for their sexualities.
Along with Ghulam, she has been moved between several hotels since October, waiting for permanent accommodation – a real home. The pair now work together at a major retail store.
Maryam visited the LGBTQ museum, in London King's Cross district, with these reporters and Ghulam last Wednesday.
"It's sad. We could never have something like this in our country," Maryam said.
Ghulam agreed solemnly. "Even if there were this kind of place in Afghanistan, if the government somehow wanted it, the people would not. They would come and smash it down," he said.
Dealing with Afghan society's pressures is something Ghulam and Maryam still have to contend with daily, even though they're now almost 5,000 miles away from their homeland.
The hotels they have been living in are filled mainly with other Afghan refugees, who informally enforce strict conservative social mores in the temporary accommodation.
Maryam and Ghulam have told hotel guests that they are cousins, conscious that they could face trouble for socializing with each other as members of the opposite sex.
Ghulam can't wear shorts as fellow refugees in his hotel would find it inappropriate.
"I'm still stuck," Ghulam said. "It's still restrictive Afghan society."
There have been moments that the young gay man has been able to live authentically.
He has been able to walk hand-in-hand with his boyfriend, who joined him from Afghanistan, but only when far away from his accommodation.
"You can't do these things in our country," he said. "You can't do it. No way."
But these fleeting moments of freedom to live as a gay man in a tolerant country are interrupted by the fear of judgment from those he shares temporary accommodation.
For as long as Ghulam remains indefinitely in hotel limbo, he has to come to terms with having to retreat into the closet.
A life in limbo
Of the thousands of Afghan refugees evacuated to the UK since the Taliban takeover, more than 6,000 have been resettled by the UK government. Around 12,000 are believed to be still living in temporary hotel accommodation, according to the BBC.
Since arriving in the UK nearly eight months ago, Ghulam has been moved between four hotels while waiting for permanent housing.
At each turn, he has felt the frustrations of a life in limbo – not being able to cook his own food, get a full-time job, make friends, and live openly with his boyfriend.
The Home Office told Insider in a statement: "We are proud this country has provided homes for more than 6,000 Afghan evacuees in such a short space of time."
"The use of hotels to house those resettled from Afghanistan is a temporary solution, and we are working with over 300 local authorities to find appropriate long-term accommodation for them."
Although Ghulam has a temporary work contract, it is unlikely he will be kept on until he has a permanent address. However, the British government could move him to another part of the country at any moment.
Working is vital to him – not only because he wants to be independent and provide for himself but also because he is currently supporting his family back home, who are still on the run from the Taliban.
His father, a former prestigious judge, spent months moving between safe houses in Afghanistan after receiving multiple death threats from the Taliban.
Although his family has now been able to cross the border into Pakistan, they have not been able to get visas to stay there, and their efforts to join Ghulam in the UK on a family reunion visa have been unsuccessful.
"I can't feel comfortable as long as my family is in trouble," Ghulam said.
The Home Office has promised to resettle up to 20,000 at-risk Afghans in the coming years as part of the Afghan Citizens Resettlement Scheme.
Despite the promises, progress has been markedly slow. A recent report by The Times of London found that only two of more than 3,000 applications for sanctuary submitted by Afghans who had worked with the British government or forces during the war have been processed since April.
"Ever since Ukraine, everything changed for us"
Russia's unprovoked invasion of Ukraine in February triggered another refugee crisis, and many Afghan refugees have described feeling like they are no longer a priority.
"Ever since Ukraine, everything changed for us," Ghulam said. "Things were already slow. Now it is much more slow."
He explained that there had been a marked reduction in regular communication with authorities in the UK, from the Home Office to the Department for Work and Pensions to the Red Cross.
He does not hide his frustration and says that he feels that the way Ukrainian refugees have been treated – by both the media and the government – has been worlds apart from the experience of Afghan refugees.
"Why? Because they're Europeans, they're white. They're not Muslims. It's simple," Ghulam said.
"While attention is understandably focused on the refugees from Ukraine, it's important not to forget the plight of Afghans," Enver Solomon, the CEO of Refugee Council, told Insider in a statement.
"Too many people from Afghanistan have been left for too long living in limbo in basic hotel accommodation, unable to get on with rebuilding their lives. They must not be forgotten."
Ghulam told Insider that he has been attempting to meet with his local MP to discuss his living situation and his frustrations at not being able to bring his family here but has only received limited communications from the office.
His MP, Oliver Dowden, told Insider in an email that he understands the frustrations and has raised this case with the Home Office and Ministry of Defense.
Despite the obstacles, Ghulam is still hopeful that he will soon be able to build a happy, free life.
While leaving Queer Britain, he was delighted to see his phone light up as he received the news that he had passed his English language proficiency test and had been offered a place at university this fall to study business.
He had to leave behind his half-completed degree and the rest of his life when he fled from Afghanistan.
He is also looking forward to going to Pride in London this year, which he expects will be a "huge experience" for him.
Ghulam paused to think when asked if he feels that he might eventually feel pride in his sexuality and who he is.
"Not yet. It will take time," he said. "But maybe I can be proud one day."
*Names have been changed to protect identities.